so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
