woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
