the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
there's paper in my vomit.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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