All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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