we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
