I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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