with your own penis?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
