you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
