Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
