note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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