The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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