Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
