i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
