I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
