You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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