Duck Duck Cougar?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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