did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
