THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Pooping to opera.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
