He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Pants are for mortals
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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