Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
OPIZZABONMYDICK
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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