Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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