And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
