Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
