She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
