I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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