OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
