My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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