So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
