Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize