The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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