Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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