i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
