I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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