you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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