Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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