It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
worst night to have a conscience
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
