Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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