I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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