I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
