in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
