this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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