did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
