I intend to get homeless drunk
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
