thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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