in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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