tell your sister to shave her snatch
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
