worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
