i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
