Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
