I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
