I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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